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^~
Before anything else, go read this. Once again, ![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
ceresi managed to break my heart with nothing more than a beautifully-written Naruto ficlet. She posted it today and I've already read it five times over. <3<3<3<3<3<3
Secondly, to heal your heart after reading that, go here to read how Leah handled the Sue meme which I'm about to do below. Her story is utterly hilarious and even inspired mine in a way. XD
Now, meme!
1. Go to the Elouai doll maker.
2. Make an ordinary doll of yourself and save it.
3. Take that doll and, leaving a couple things (nose, eyebrows, whatever) the same, Mary Sue yourself. Make the most blatant Mary Sue you can conceive.
4. Post "Before" and "After" in your LJ. Bonus points if your Sue has a backstory of some sort.
My little story has nods to Animorphs, YGO, and HP, slash, femmeslash, fake gay bashing and could be considered offensive by thin-skinned Christians. Ye have been warned!
First of all, here's me, minus the dark skin which would let you know I'm Asian:
Messily dressed and normal enough, right? Well, that's the before picture. NOW starts the fic, inspired by Leah's style. XD
HI! I'm Dasanti Sue, the Fairy of the Pink Forest! My forest is sooo cooool, only pink things grow here! Pink flowers and pink trees and pink grass and pink people who get sunburnt just so that they can match the decor! I am so clever and pretty and I can fly and I'm totally pure and stuffs because I was born from a flower and no icky fornication created me!
But we all need to be balanced, so every night when the sun goes down (it looks pink if you look at it through the pink leaves of the pink trees), I turn into a vampire. A pirate vampire, because there's this ghost who possessed me who used to be a pirate and since he possessed me, I somehow turned into a vampire! Weird, right? But it's okay. My goodness and light absorbed him so even though I'm now pirate-vampire, I'm not possessed. Just on my own. All lonely. And craving blood.
Tonight, I decided to go drink some of Tobias' blood! He's this totally hot boy who spends most of his time as a red-tailed hawk. I can't let him into the forest because he would clash with the color scheme, but now that I'm my vampire-pirate self, I can go see him instead, 'cause he lives in a house with some other dude who is nowhere near as cute as he is but freaks out over food. Anyway, I'm all dressed up and don't I look totally sexalicious?!!!!11oneoneeleventyone!
Some girls definitely thought so, 'cause they jumped me out of nowhere and kissed me all over! I was like "Ick, get away from me you dykes bitches!" because I'm so totally not gay and like, one hundred percent straight. Unless it's In to be bi again, in which case I'm bi and was just mad at them for messing up my hair.
So I killed them and drank their blood.
But when I went to see Tobias, he and that freaky dude were making out! So, like, my heart totally broke.
So I became an evil ninja-pirate and levelled up to be a super-vampire. And found some sexy guy called Yami no Maiik and like, did IT with him. Except he was all obsessed with some Pharaoh and tomb robber, so he went off to find them and have a no-girls-allowed threesome. *siiiighs* Why are all the hot ones gay?! It's like false advertising or something.
Anyway, after getting rejected by two guys in a row, I did what I do best and overreacted: I became a prostitute! Lots of sex with guys that find me attractive, and I get paid for it! And I was all sexy and stuff, especially since I got some bunny ears and appealed to the furry crowd.
Execpt it was getting all cold out there and I was all alone and nobody loved me, they just loved my body so I got all thin and angsted and stuff. So one night, I was lying in the gutter, dying, and wishing that someone loved me when suddenly, there spoke a VOICE.
VOICE: BLESSED ARE YOU BEYOND ALL WOMEN, DASANTI SUE, FOR YOU-
I cut him off frantically because please girls, we all know how this story goes, and yelled at the top of my voice, "I DON'T WANT TO BE PREGGERS!" Good thing I'm not a guy - Mpreg is even more ewwwww than normal preg. And the stretchmarks would be soooo awful!
The VOICE seemed peeved though, 'cause it yelled back, "WRONG FANDOM! NOW, IF I COULD DO THIS WIHTOUT ANY INTERRUPTIONS? THANK YOU. *clears throat*"
...I thought it was on drugs but shut up anyway while it went on, "AHEM. BLESSED ARE YOU BEYOND ALL WOMEN, DASANTI SUE, FOR YOU HAVE CLEARLY SHOWN THROUGH YOUR ATTENTION-WHORISH WAYS, DRAMA QUEEN BEHAVIOR AND INABILITY TO KEEP YOURSELF CLOTHED-"
I just had to mutter there, "It's not my fault everyone wants to rip my clothes off and roger me. Do you want me to stitch my clothes to my skin or what?" but I don't think it noticed since the VOICE continued, "THAT YOU ARE THE PRINCESS OF ALL SUES!"
Cue a blank silence on my part. I mean, princess? Sounded way cooler than fairy or pirate-vampire, or pirate-ninja or prostitute, but what was a Sue? "Is that, like, a clan or something?"
"SUES ARE THE MOST PERFECT AND FLAWLESS OF ALL WOMEN. THEY CAN DO ANYTHING AND ANYONE, HAVE THE MOST ANGSTY BACKGROUNDS AND NEVER FAIL TO GET THEIR MAN/WOMAN/TENTACLE MONSTER IN THE END."
Okay, put like that it sounded pretty cool.
So I became their princess, went to training school for a week, then led the invasion of Hogwarts and now have Draco Malfoy for my own personal sex slave!
If you'll excuse me now, I think he needs to lick my cross clean. Uh-huh. The one hanging in my cleavage. *smiiirks* Life is good when you're a Princess Sue!
ceresi managed to break my heart with nothing more than a beautifully-written Naruto ficlet. She posted it today and I've already read it five times over. <3<3<3<3<3<3Secondly, to heal your heart after reading that, go here to read how Leah handled the Sue meme which I'm about to do below. Her story is utterly hilarious and even inspired mine in a way. XD
Now, meme!
1. Go to the Elouai doll maker.
2. Make an ordinary doll of yourself and save it.
3. Take that doll and, leaving a couple things (nose, eyebrows, whatever) the same, Mary Sue yourself. Make the most blatant Mary Sue you can conceive.
4. Post "Before" and "After" in your LJ. Bonus points if your Sue has a backstory of some sort.
My little story has nods to Animorphs, YGO, and HP, slash, femmeslash, fake gay bashing and could be considered offensive by thin-skinned Christians. Ye have been warned!
First of all, here's me, minus the dark skin which would let you know I'm Asian:
Messily dressed and normal enough, right? Well, that's the before picture. NOW starts the fic, inspired by Leah's style. XD
HI! I'm Dasanti Sue, the Fairy of the Pink Forest! My forest is sooo cooool, only pink things grow here! Pink flowers and pink trees and pink grass and pink people who get sunburnt just so that they can match the decor! I am so clever and pretty and I can fly and I'm totally pure and stuffs because I was born from a flower and no icky fornication created me!
But we all need to be balanced, so every night when the sun goes down (it looks pink if you look at it through the pink leaves of the pink trees), I turn into a vampire. A pirate vampire, because there's this ghost who possessed me who used to be a pirate and since he possessed me, I somehow turned into a vampire! Weird, right? But it's okay. My goodness and light absorbed him so even though I'm now pirate-vampire, I'm not possessed. Just on my own. All lonely. And craving blood.
Tonight, I decided to go drink some of Tobias' blood! He's this totally hot boy who spends most of his time as a red-tailed hawk. I can't let him into the forest because he would clash with the color scheme, but now that I'm my vampire-pirate self, I can go see him instead, 'cause he lives in a house with some other dude who is nowhere near as cute as he is but freaks out over food. Anyway, I'm all dressed up and don't I look totally sexalicious?!!!!11oneoneeleventyone!
Some girls definitely thought so, 'cause they jumped me out of nowhere and kissed me all over! I was like "Ick, get away from me you dykes bitches!" because I'm so totally not gay and like, one hundred percent straight. Unless it's In to be bi again, in which case I'm bi and was just mad at them for messing up my hair.
So I killed them and drank their blood.
But when I went to see Tobias, he and that freaky dude were making out! So, like, my heart totally broke.
So I became an evil ninja-pirate and levelled up to be a super-vampire. And found some sexy guy called Yami no Maiik and like, did IT with him. Except he was all obsessed with some Pharaoh and tomb robber, so he went off to find them and have a no-girls-allowed threesome. *siiiighs* Why are all the hot ones gay?! It's like false advertising or something.
Anyway, after getting rejected by two guys in a row, I did what I do best and overreacted: I became a prostitute! Lots of sex with guys that find me attractive, and I get paid for it! And I was all sexy and stuff, especially since I got some bunny ears and appealed to the furry crowd.
Execpt it was getting all cold out there and I was all alone and nobody loved me, they just loved my body so I got all thin and angsted and stuff. So one night, I was lying in the gutter, dying, and wishing that someone loved me when suddenly, there spoke a VOICE.
VOICE: BLESSED ARE YOU BEYOND ALL WOMEN, DASANTI SUE, FOR YOU-
I cut him off frantically because please girls, we all know how this story goes, and yelled at the top of my voice, "I DON'T WANT TO BE PREGGERS!" Good thing I'm not a guy - Mpreg is even more ewwwww than normal preg. And the stretchmarks would be soooo awful!
The VOICE seemed peeved though, 'cause it yelled back, "WRONG FANDOM! NOW, IF I COULD DO THIS WIHTOUT ANY INTERRUPTIONS? THANK YOU. *clears throat*"
...I thought it was on drugs but shut up anyway while it went on, "AHEM. BLESSED ARE YOU BEYOND ALL WOMEN, DASANTI SUE, FOR YOU HAVE CLEARLY SHOWN THROUGH YOUR ATTENTION-WHORISH WAYS, DRAMA QUEEN BEHAVIOR AND INABILITY TO KEEP YOURSELF CLOTHED-"
I just had to mutter there, "It's not my fault everyone wants to rip my clothes off and roger me. Do you want me to stitch my clothes to my skin or what?" but I don't think it noticed since the VOICE continued, "THAT YOU ARE THE PRINCESS OF ALL SUES!"
Cue a blank silence on my part. I mean, princess? Sounded way cooler than fairy or pirate-vampire, or pirate-ninja or prostitute, but what was a Sue? "Is that, like, a clan or something?"
"SUES ARE THE MOST PERFECT AND FLAWLESS OF ALL WOMEN. THEY CAN DO ANYTHING AND ANYONE, HAVE THE MOST ANGSTY BACKGROUNDS AND NEVER FAIL TO GET THEIR MAN/WOMAN/TENTACLE MONSTER IN THE END."
Okay, put like that it sounded pretty cool.
So I became their princess, went to training school for a week, then led the invasion of Hogwarts and now have Draco Malfoy for my own personal sex slave!
If you'll excuse me now, I think he needs to lick my cross clean. Uh-huh. The one hanging in my cleavage. *smiiirks* Life is good when you're a Princess Sue!
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And yes, kill away. Just see if you can save her clothes for me. I kinda like the cap + eyepatch combo.
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I want the crown. I can pawn it.
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Keep the crown. I just want the cool shoes and accessories.
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Okay. :)
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Anywho. Just wow xDD I made a "me doll" (which sucks ^^;;), but I donno what I'll come up with. *ahem* Wow... xDD Now that was amusing to read, indeed.
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