fickle | Laying ghosts to rest/Damien post.

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Laying ghosts to rest/Damien post.

Hate meme got taken down because RL addresses were posted; Liz, Hela and I are being accused of having spammed it with addresses in order to get it down. Hela already e-mailed me to check if it was my fault, because of a friend of mine who knows the person who started the meme offered to get certain threads screened, and I replied and told her no, that I had originally agreed to the screening idea and then taken it back once I'd realized it wouldn't change anything -- what's said is said, and free speech is sacrosanct.

Including the right to believe that I'm going to plot with the other mods to spam that thing with RL info to get it taken down. Even though, you know, that would be endangering whoever's info we give out and that's kinda not an ethical move to make. At all.

*gives up* Seriously. I'm over in Austria and was asleep due to insane parental control over my online time. I didn't have a chance to do that, even if I would have. I did, admittedly, have the idea occur to me because it was an obvious loophole and I'm not stupid (I think), but that seemed like an insanely petty thing to do, and I'm not a fan of being petty.

Not to mention that it's obvious enough that other people getting bashed probably thought of it too. Nice to know only we're held in such contempt that people think us capable of it.

Real story behind why the hate meme was taken down can be found here, thanks to Ape having the courage to come forwards and post. The original post saying why it was taken down has also been altered to reflect that.

Now, down to the actual accusations:

The person who called me a "a canon-raping, godmodding player of all-powerful Mary Sues" -- I'm using manga for canon, not anime. If you're used to anime!Duke and then suddenly dealing with the manga!version, I can see why you'd think that since the difference in the characters is really that severe. Godmodding, no -- I've only had Ryuuji fight NPCs and Eros/Loki were plot points for whom we got full consent before we did anything. All powerful -- Eros is a god which is again, why I never wanted to fulltime play him, Ryuuji ICly in-game received the Sennen Items from Ultemecia (whose mun I hadn't know before and definitely hadn't planned it out with) which yes, does make him all powerful and Jason is only human and a lot weaker than two-thirds of the school. Mary Sues, whatever. That one just sounds like it was tagged onto a list of insults like a grocery list. Unless it's refering to Eros who yeah, had to have a personality made up for him because he had to be played instead of just used and is getting popcorned anyway because I agreed to do that for another char's sake over a WART fiasco that happened ages ago.

The too nice accusation -- I'm sorry, but I thought that mods were supposed to cooperate with the playerbase and try to keep them happy. Isn't that just kind of a no-win situation? Either I'm too nice because I give in, or I don't give in and then I'm a bitch. Catch 22.

And as for doing things without consulting the other mods and getting the playerbase smacked, could I have a concrete example, please? The one I'm thinking of was hhsecrets, the secrets comm. It got deleted because I started it up without checking with Liz, and I learnt to run things by her first. The playerbase wouldn't get smacked for my mistakes, that makes no sense and would be unfair.

Concerning Ryuuji getting overplayed, he's a Prefect, the school peacekeeper and a social char. He tends to get involved a lot of things because as Prefect, he's responsible for trying to keep the students engaged and having fun. Plus, again, social char with a lot of friends who like hanging out with him, so that's another reason he tends to be in a lot of RPs. I'm not trying to force him on anyone, and I did honestly consider just only RPing with the muns/chars that I already know like him, but then I realized that since those RPs get posted, that could still technically annoy people even though I'm not making that char interact with him. So I'm really not sure what to do there, though for what consolation it is, I'm trying to get Jason more involved in school stuff despite him being anti-social so that from a mod point of view, I can use him to kick up activity as well which'll take some of the stress off Ryuuji.

The Anzu debacle -- yes. Full admittance there that Ryuuji was OOC but I had originally planned on having him just avoid the Sorting and send in Sal instead who could ICly squib her for being a Mudblood. I generally avoid situations that I know I can't keep my chars IC in or that squick me OOCly, like chan, relationships with a large age difference, abusive relationships -- if someone else wants to play that out, that's their business, but I don't want to have my characters involved. Likewise, I keep my characters out of Sortings for chars that I hate, or I send in a char whom it would be IC to not get on with the Sortee.

As for me only being a mod because of my HTML skills, the original thread where I got modded is here. As you can see, Ryuuji ICly offered to help the Hat out, since if you read the strikes, you'll see his qualifications are being a businessman which I'm definitely not. (College student, for anyone that's interested.) So I got mod status because my char offered to help with the nitty-gritty of the comm, which I guess showed that I'm responsible and like to try to help with things I like.

Also, on that note, the layout was created for the parody comm that HH started out as. The original version was all pink and even more painful to look at than the current one, I promise. I'm not touching the icon wank because I like my char icons and I guess that's just a case of personal opinion, so hate on the icons and the layout all you want.

Er, what else? BRPS. BRPS is a venting/ranting community, and I firmly believe that anyone has the right to BRPS anyone else. However, that does not mean that I would BRPS anyone for disagreeing with me, saying I overplay my characters, or that I'm too nice. Promise. BRPS posts that I've made about HH off the top of my head were about Hecate-mun who was pretending to be three people like a baby Ms.Scribe, and wouldn't tell the truth even when IP addy proof was flourished at her, so I think that one was justified, about my char getting dumped with no OOC warning in which case I had really very little interest in playing with the mun in question again or trying to fix it (because what was the guarantee she wouldn't pull something like that again?), and something that's applied to more than just HH about how people treat RPs like fic and get annoyed when other chars don't react the way they want. And that was kind of a killer run-off sentence, which I apologize for.

I also apologize if I missed anything anyone said. It was a surprisingly big thread (I didn't realize that I'd manage to inspire so much hatred, jeez), and I'm working from memory here. If you have a complaint that you posted there that I didn't address, leave it as a comment to this post and I'll see what I can do.

I'm leaving this post open but since I'm going offline for a week for a holiday that was planned ages ago, I won't be able to reply to anything instantly but that at least gives you plenty of time to plan out your response. I'd appreciate it if they were signed-in replies from actual journals, since after all the venom from the anon meme, I'm kind of scared of it dogpiling over here as well, but I understand that some people are scared to use their real identities/char identities because of mod/brps reprecussion. So, anon comments are enabled.

Comments about the other mods or players will be deleted because this isn't the place for them. This is not another anon meme. This is me, Damien, trying to settle matters with the people that dislike me (because let's face it, whoever said I dislike conflict was dead on with that) and figure out what I'm doing wrong and if it's fixable. I'd rather know for my own peace of mind that I tried to talk politely with people who dislike me than have it lying on my conscience that there's some sort of consensus that I'm a sucky mod and that I did nothing about it.

Obviously, I'd rather have civil, well-thought comments than one-liners about me needing to grow balls since again, this is not an anon meme. It's an attempt to open for discussion. Please don't spam my journal, or get impatient if I don't reply instantly since like I said, I'm going to be away. I realize the timing of this sucks, but I didn't put up the meme to coincide with my holidays and I didn't feel like leaving this post until I get back because I might have chickened out if I'd given myself more time to think about it.

So. Have at it. And again, civility will be appreciated, please.

Edit: The ex-DE-clique has a free pass to hate me for handling that situation badly. And Crowley-mun is -- okay, hate seems kinda extreme in her case -- free to severely dislike me, if she wants to. Anyone else, I'd like reasons, please.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

I'd rather cover any other issues with you personally - but I will mention I already covered the Anzu matter, and I apologize for what that led to, Damien. I did explain things to the former Kira-mun, though, so it's okay. Don't worry about it.

And...I don't fully believe you like to keep your characters out of abusive relationships, considering what you enjoy centering Ryuuji around, but err...okay.

Saw you do that, and thank you. I appreciate it, just as I appreciate you pointing out that getting the meme taken down wouldn't have been my style.

And fic is different from RP. XD RPwise, I'd get really bored really fast of having a char be so vulnerable and exploited. I prefer playing the victimizers to the victims, most of the time, though obviously no char of mine is protected against everything.

Would you expect anything less of me? Seriously. It's a good thing that stupid thing did go down, honestly, because I was about two seconds away from tackling two other things, as I recall.

You know me. x__X Always getting myself knee deep in trouble, and not able to stop my fingers. No thanks needed - just being honest.

Yes...but I'm not even talking about fic so much as the amount of times you asked that Seto hurt Ryuuji back. x__X It's just...hard for me to take that part seriously. Honestly. But meh, it's not worth arguing over. And then there's psychoshipping.... But that's...a whole other kettle of fish, I think.

Just three things:

-I quit reading the hatememe after a few comments, and was not the person who was posting RL addresses to it, nor do I have any idea who was. I was online with Hela at the time it was taken down, and we both found out about what occurred the same way, by being informed by a third party in IRC.

-*hugs*

-Have a wonderful holiday!

Check further down my comments and there's an explanation of why/how it went down. XD Yay for our names being cleared!

*hugs back*

Shall do, gumshoe! I just need to post to the comm that I'm on hiatus and drop a note to all the other places that I play as well.

That certain does help some, and I appreciate

orangutan clearing that up.

*more hugs and general good wishes*

Lalalala *skimmed* *has nothing important to say, but really loves this icon and finds it amusing. Whee*

Yay Deadpool! XD

And this icon :DDDDD.

This was originally posted as a heavily friends-locked entry in my LJ, but I have since decided it's worth posting here, in case you happen to miss it in friendslist backlog. Also, truthfully, there are a lot more people than just the people the post was locked to who deserve to know this:

I found out who was responsible for the RL stuff posted in

rpganon. It was someone I trusted and respected, someone I've known for years. I have met this person, hugged her, had five-hour-long phone conversations with her.

She confessed last night. The person behind

rpganon had her suspicions based on some discrepancies between what this person had been telling her and telling other acquaintances, and pressed the question. When it became clear the game was up, I guess a spasm of the vestigial organ my 'friend' called a conscience led to an admission of guilt. The cited reason for the posting of information? Was bullshit. Someone had posted something which involved one of her less shining moments, and she was pissed. But I had been telling my 'friend' a little about the drama going on in

hogwarts_hocus, and apparently she thought that would make a good cover to insinuate that there was a connection.

I'm not really sure what to think or do right now. I've been manipulated and lied to by someone I thought a friend, for reasons I can't begin to comprehend or deal with. I have since found out she was also behind a drama that destroyed a PBeM I used to play in – a drama which, incidentally, cost me an incredibly dear friend. I'm hoping there won't be a repeat of that, but I can't say I'd blame you. As I told you over IM, people are accountable for who they befriend, and it's ridiculous to not expect people to judge you by the company you keep. Apparently I've made some really shitty friends over the years.

To spare everyone my existential angst, I'm taking a few days off from the internet. I don't know what to do or what to say, and until I do, I have no business going online.

I just saw and commented on that post, but thank you so much for reposting and linking here, since it means that my post can point people down here to prove none of the mods were responsible.

Also, said it in a comment to your post but it's worth saying again -- even if everyone else plays the guilt-by-association game, I don't. When/if I hate people, I hate them for who they are and what they've done (or what they've failed to prevent), not for who they hang out with. And maybe it's expecting too much to think other people will judge me for me and not my friends, but I don't care. If someone really likes me, then that should be what matters since I won't force them to interact with my other friends and we're not a package deal.

I'm Damien, you're Ape, and who you hang out or who I hang out with shouldn't make a difference to us.

Idealistic, I know, I know, but hey, at least it works in your favor. ^_~

Thank you very much for posting this.

Thanks for coming forward with this. The idea I'd been somehow marshaling people to take down the meme was ludicrous, but so was most of what was being posted, and I really disliked the idea of random people from various RPGs thinking I'd gone net kiddie troll all over a comm I'd barely been reading.

I've already apologized for what I said about you, and I sincerely mean it. The line between too nice and too harsh is a difficult one to find for a mod, and you did the best you could. Whatever anyone else thought, I always knew it was because you are a good person and it was because you wanted to make people happy.

Personally, I'm glad you decided to address the issues people had with you, though-- even if the accusations were done in a way that was hurtful-- rather than simply ignoring them. ♥

You're good people, and I hope your trip is a good, relaxing one. (I told you you wouldn't miss any of us, I just didn't know it would be because of drama! O.o)

*nods* You did, and I accepted your apology because I'd rather believe that you were stupid than believe you were trying to hurt me. And also because you at least came clean to me about them, though I would have obviously prefered it if all that stuff had never happened in the first place. X_x

Eh. I'm me. Trying to ignore them would have just let them burrow under my skin and rankle at me. At least this way, I'm hopefully going to be tagged by the people that actually have a real issue with me and weren't just carried away by the flow of hate.

Thank you for the good wishes! (*DIES* Tell me about it. This is really not what I expected to deal with before going.)

...The things I miss. Seeing how I didn't see the beginning of this and only this post + comments, I'll simply just state that I do hope all of this is settled calmly and such and that things are... "okay", if you will.

On the vacation note, have fun?

*snicker fit* Don't worry. I'll fill you in 100%, first chance I get. >D Hell - I'll e-mail you if you think you might have time to read it? >D

Amused now, are we? :P Yeah, sure, go ahead and email me. I can't guarantee when I can read it, but I will and I can't guarantee when I'll respond, either. But, sure! Fill me in xD Don't leave me in the dark ^_~

I can't help it!! >D You know me...amused easily. >D

And yay! I'll e-mail you the whole story, then. And I sent you a letter!! Five pages. ^___^ *preens*

xD Yes, yes you are. Not that I can talk - I can be, too xD'

^.^ Kay, kay. And, oh, I got it! The kitties so cute!

>D Nothing wrong with that. Being easily amused makes us fun. I insist.

Anyhow - you got it! o.o Already? Wow.... I barely sent it out Monday. *stunned* I think I'll do things via that post office more often. They seem more...reliable.

Also, I think we should move this conversation off poor Fickle-luv's journal, so I'll make an entry addressed to you, but I need to ask something about MSN. I want Xmas on MSN, and the stupid thing is giving her trouble. Always has. I was wondering if you knew of any problem solving tricks. Again. To my journal! Let's go!

It was insane. Trust me, you didn't miss out on much except me being ridiculously unhappy.

*hugs* Had LOTS of fun! Sent you a postcard :P

Which is still a lot and I wish I could have been around even if it was to make you smile just when I could ♥

^-^ And as you know, I did recieve it ♥

This is Kira-mun. I originally posted this under Kira's account, but decided that it was better to use my personal account instead. And, yes, I did have a different journal a while ago. ^^; I switch journals a lot. It's a bad habit I know I should try to break.

First of all, I want to apologize to you about the Anzu thing. I admit that I said what I said without knowing the full story, and that Anzu's player has been a good friend of mine for years, so it's not like I'm an unbiased observer here. I thought I saw my friend being treated unfairly, and got pissed off. I should've kept my mouth shut when I didn't have the full story and wasn't completely ubiased. So, yeah, sorry. I fully retract everything I said regarding that situation.

As for Ryuuji, it's not so much how often he's played as it is how much he seems to be at the center of. Most of them time, I like Ryuuji (his views on religion, which I think are incredibly fucked up, are an exception; there's nothing wrong with being an atheist, but thinking all religion = automatically stupid makes me wanna smack a bitch, and you can't really change my mind on that*), and even I find myself occasionally annoyed by just how much revolves around him, how much seems to not just involve him somehow, but center around him. I wouldn't call it OOC, but it's still annoying. If you want, consider it another biased overemotional response from me; I won't claim to be objective or even logical.

As for thinking you're too nice and don't handle conflict well (which I believe was my wording on the meme), I still think that stands. Sometimes it seems to me like you're afraid of the other mods and hesitant to disagree with anyone. This is, obviously, just from the things I've observed, and if I'm wrong, feel free to hit me. The thing is, this isn't entirely bad, because it does mean that you're a nice person who really cares about other people's feelings. Unfortunately, though, being a mod means dealing with conflict. Being a mod means sometimes you can't make everyone happy. It's possible to put your foot down sometimes without being a total bitch, too.

As for BRPS, I think that if you're a mod, you have a responsibility to go to the players first before you BRPS them, because a mod's job is to keep order in the game. That's just my personal opinion, though. (I think the ideal solution to the Hecate situation would be to have been to simply kick the player out of the game when she didn't fess up, for example, but again, my opinion.)

The layout issue, I don't feel the need to address, since I never complained about it in the first place.

Finally, I want to commend you for actually doing this and actually addressing what people said. This kind of thing takes guts and maturity, and I'm seriously impressed. I'm sorry if anything I said hurt you.

I think I'm done now. Also sorry for the tl;dr. And for spamming your inbox.

*I want you to know that I DON'T hold Ryuuji's IC views on religion or anything else against you, the player. Because that would be retarded.

Just to clarify:

When I say I didn't have the full story, that's my own fault. Neko tried to explain what was going on, but I was so aggravated I wouldn't listen.

Er, I noticed too late that you've directed this post at people who "dislike" you. Me read good, apparently.

I just wanted to let you know that, regardless of how the other posters may feel, I don't dislike you. You do things that annoy me, but it's possible to genuinely like someone and still be annoyed by them sometimes.

I was under the impression that anyone who'd resort to posting anon in a meme about me did dislike me, since there wasn't any other reason to be anon instead of talking to me about it. XD Since you posted openly, you're probably exempt from that particular bit of logic.

And thank you for that. And randomly, nice icon.

Heh, thanks. Right back at you. :D

And if you don't want me saying so, I don't think that's always true. Sometimes people post anonymously because they don't like someone, but sometimes they do it because they like someone but don't think the person will listen to their complaints or just because people, in my experience, will do retarded fucking things sometimes for retarded fucking reasons.

Of course, I can't really speak for anyone but myself anyway, and posting anonymously makes my stomach hurt, personally.

*want = mind

First of all, thanks for commenting and telling me what you think, as well as for using a signed-in journal to comment. I appreciate that you didn't go anon at the original meme, and I think that it took guts to do that.

Re the Anzu situation, okay. Apology accepted. I'd probably have reacted in a similar way if it was a friend of mine and I was clueless. So fair enough.

Hm. The thing is, with the groups that he's the tightest with either drifting away from the game or having quit it entirely, Ryuuji's really not as active as he used to be, or maybe that's just me as a player knowing I'm only playing with the same muns repeatedly. His activity levels have definitely dropped down but at the same time, his status as Prefect means that yeah, he does tend to be fairly in on things because I've always seen him as responsible enough to live up to his duties, since I'd expect a businessman to be able to do that.

And I'm sorry if my playing Ryuuji-Kira scenes (though I don't think we've done those for a while) made you feel coerced into them or anything. Seriously. I wouldn't have pushed for manga night or whatever interaction if I'd known you felt that way.

Um. Okay. I'll agree that I don't handle conflict well. I tend to prefer that people get along, don't wank all over each and don't create extra work by being stupid and needing the definition of a clown posted. On the flipside, I don't think you, or any of the other players, actually see mods arguing. We tend to discuss it all over e-mail or MSN, and although we don't always get along and agree, we do usually manage to come to some sort of compromise.

For example, the squibbait/charblocking thing that happened while I was gone -- the three of us discussed it when I returned, and it turned out all three of us had different viewpoints. Hela was of the opinion that certain chars could make in-game-chars unplayable and should be blocked, I thought that the game should be open for everyone and Liz felt that certain chars being apped could be construed as character torture and should therefore be blockable. We ended up hashing out the issue for days but finally came to the conclusion that the HP fandom and only the HP fandom could have a list of banned characters, with everyone else being free to app regardless of their effect on in-game characters.

So yeah. Disagreement there, days of us talking the issue over and trying get our viewpoints seen, and a conclusion that managed to settle it. So it's not that I don't stand up for what I believe makes sense RPwise, it's just that if I have it within my ability to avoid conflict, then I will. Debate is one thing, but personal arguments are really not my idea of a fun time.

I can partly agree with that, but not wholly. For one thing, if it's a widespread problem like with the fic-thing, then you can't tackle every mun individually, especially when some of them don't even interact with you and you just hear stories from other people. For another thing, rant comm. I think that part of the reason I manage to be diplomatic and polite is that I get my frustration out there so that it's not seething inside me when I do need to tackle a difficult situation. And I think that I tend to complain more as a player than as a mod, really, because I'd be posting that exact same stuff if I weren't a mod. (*dies* Yeah. Maybe. Lying to the mods really should be a bannable offense in my book.)

...Um. Too long to post as one comment, continued in the next box.

Honestly, the only time I've ever felt coerced during a Ryuuji-Kira scene was when Ryuuji, thanks to Eros' arrow, asked Kira to kill him. I was fine with Ryuuji flirting with Kira and stuff, but the whole "you can kill me" thing made me really uncomfortable, and when I agreed to let you hit Ryuuji with the arrow, you didn't tell me that would happen. But since I should have told you I was uncomfortable when it happened, that's my fault as much as yours.

But other than that one incident, I enjoyed the Ryuuji-Kira scenes and didn't really have a problem with doing them or feel coerced. I felt kind of guilty because Ryuuji was involved in so much already and I didn't want to drag your attention away from more important things, but that's my problem, not yours, so you don't need to apologize. Also, a lot of the things Ryuuji said that bother ME don't phase Kira at all.

For all I know, Ryuuji's acitivity level may have dropped way down. I know for a while he was involved to so much it was a little aggravating at one point, but admittedly, I got bored of h_h and didn't pay much attention to it for a while, so that may no longer be the case.

No, we don't see you arguing, but just the way you talk to the other mods even when you're not arguing with them, everything about your mannerisms with them, seems to suggest to me that you're a little scared of them. I'm sorry if that's harsh, or wrong, or if I've got the wrong impresssion there. I'm just telling you how it often comes across to me.

Personally, I would much rather someone be bitchy to me to my face than BRPS me and be polite to my face. If they BRPS me and didn't say anything or were really sweet about it to my face, I'd feel like maybe they had other issues with me that they weren't telling me about, and like I couldn't trust them. And I understand the need to rant, but I still think you should take the problem to the person first and BRPS second. Even in the case of widespread problems like the fic-thing, you can still post a notice or something to the comm warning people not to do it and promising disciplinary action to the people caught doing it from here on out. BRPSing a whole group doesn't really solve the problem. (Lying to the mods, especially when they have IP evidence that you're lying to them, is both a bannable offense and fucking stupid.)

I feel a similar way about anonymous memes as I do about BRPS. I understand the need to vent, but at the same time, something about the idea of bitching about someone anonymously behind their back seems really icky and two-faced to me. :(

^^; Okay. I'll continue my reply as a reply to YOUR other reply, then.

Ack, sorry. I figured that Ryuuji would just offering more and more insane things in an attempt to get Kira to like him. X_x Should have stuck to flirting-made-inept-by-desperation. But right, thank you for telling me that now, at least and I'm glad to know that the rest of the scenes weren't a pain to deal with since of the things the meme did make me freak out about was the idea that I was forcing people to play with me or that they were playing with me out of politeness or something. And Kira's fun to play with, so no worries about you dragging me away from anything.

Ah. Fair enough, then. He's currently involved in getting together a Slytherin Quidditch team but he's no longer the Captain or Seeker, and in putting together a schoolnewspaper, but that's about it for non-personal affairs. Without Kira there, he wouldn't feel right about holding a manga night since that's where it originally stemmed from.

...Um. Where do you see me talking to them a lot, actually? Because I'm never in IRC to talk to Hela there, you aren't on MSN to be part of group convos and on livejournal, we tend not to interact all that much. So, just curious as to what interaction you're basing this off, really.

*dies* Oh, c'mon. You seriously think the comm needs more warnings and rules? It's way too clogged down as it is, especially for a crack comm! Plus, if people are attention-hungry and whine when other characters don't react the way they want, it's annoying and poor RP etiquette by my standards (not necessarily a general rule), but not really something you can enforce as a rule since it's about OOC behavior that's not actually harrassment but just incredibly vexing. (Agreed. Though in cases without IP evidence, it then ends up as he-said/she-said and that's just ARGH.)

Ah. I always post with my personal journal to BRPS because I figure that's non-anon and if I'm going to bitch about something, I ought to be willing to stand by it. I've loaned out RP journals to people before and had friends wonder if it's me, but that's it. Anon memes, I think that I posted once to one, actually anon, but then instantly regretted it and wished that I could delete it. It just felt all cowardly and blah, though BRPS obviously doesn't make me feel like that else I'd avoid it too.

Yay, we're setting up a pattern here!

Yeah, I can see how it makes sense ICly, but it still made me uncomfortable because I felt all guilty all the sudden. :/ But like I said, it's my fault as much as it is yours. I should have said something then instead of just going along with something that bothered me.

Awwww. I'm sorry about popcorning Kira, then. =/ *hugs* But I had my reasons. I don't know if that makes it better or not.

Mostly in the comments or posts to the h_h comm. You seem kind of, I don't know, like you're trying to bend over backwards to please people. Of course, I'm really a very rude person, so it's possible that I'm mistaking normal politeness for bending over backwards. I've actually made that mistake before.

More warnings and rules? Of course not. I think a lot of the currently existing rules are fucking horeshit, frankly. But a general "use common sense and don't be fucktards" post telling people that you've gotten complaints about certain behaviors and to quit doing it isn't really more warnings and rules. It's possible to make a post that says "hay guys, you are being giant cunts SO CUT IT OUT" without actually adding anything to the rules, especially when the behavior being complained about should be common sense. You can ask that people stop doing something, and let them know that yes, people have been doing it, without actively adding to the rules. Also, I personally have seen mods enforce rules about etiquette, but that's really just more of a difference in modding than a complaint against you. Your way isn't bad or wrong; I've just seen people do it another way. (Yeah. That's why I think it's always a good idea to have IP logging turned onto RP comms and stuff; it can be kinda of skeevy, but it's better than the headache that comes from suspecting someone's lying to you but not being able to prove it.)

*nodnod* I know how you feel. I don't like anon memes at all, partly because it feels cowardly and partly because I know that I personally have a hard time taking anonymous complaints seriously. Unless I can attach a face and a name to the complainer, it's pretty easy to just write them off as Random Fucking Anonymous Moron #8. BRPS has the same feel for me if I know the person being vented about will never see it, so the only times I vent on BRPS is if a.) the incident occured several years ago or b.) I know the person reads the comm and will see it. Granted, I once tried to use BRPS to start a fight with someone, which is hugely fucking wanky and probably a hundred times worse than anything you've ever done. (It didn't work; the other person was ~~mature enough not~~ too much of a coward to rise to the bait, luckily for me.) I'm not sure what I'm really trying to say now, except that I guess everyone is different.

But, different or not, I still think that mods who have a problem with a specific player should confront the player about their behavior before going to BRPS. Again, though, just a personal opinion. We may end up having to agree to disagree.

They let me play with pattern blocks in grade one. I loved pattern blocks until I tried to eat one and it tastes yucky.

You can ask that people stop doing something, and let them know that yes, people have been doing it, without actively adding to the rules.

To clarify: I'm not advocating hiding the rules from newbies or punishing newbies for the idiocy of older players. I'm just saying that you can make a post that says, "STOP IT." without making a bunch of new rules.

Does that even make any sense? I'm really sorry if it doesn't. I don't really know how to phrase myself any better.

It's okay, I got what you meant, more or less. It's just that if it's a recurring issue, it should probably be in the rules, and more rules = more rule-breaking = more wank = more messy mod stuff. @_@

Well, if they keep breaking the rules, you can BRPS them. But if you're a mod, you should address the problem first before you BRPS the players, in my mind. Also, as to whether or not it goes in the rules...

Depends on whether or not it's the same people who keep doing it, I think. If it's the same people every time, well, maybe a private talk with the perps is a better solution. If it's different people every time, it might well go in the rules, which would indeed suck.

I really would have stopped it if I'd known. X_X

Aw. Kira was fun to play with, honest. And Rukia was cute, though I know nothing of Bleach.

...Huh. Well. I can think of one instance, off the top of my head, where I tried to placate someone when I should have told them to stuff it, so yeah, I'll agree that I'm too much of a peacemaker at the expense of my own peace of mind.

I think that a lot of people at HH aren't used to RPing or are only RPing for the first time there, so that's why so much that seems like common sense doesn't appear to click for them. And dude, we have enough actual mod issues to deal with, trying to add ettiquette to the list would be killer. (Of course, the headache of someone lying to you and refusing to admit it even when faced with proof of being caught red-handed is a whole other story...)

Huh. I kinda take anon memes more seriously than I like, since I end up hurt and wondering why they can't talk to me directly. And in the case of the recent one, wondering if any of my friends were in there, saying things about me, and if I can believe the friends of mine that say they were there but said nothing about me and the friends that say they weren't there. Paranoia's the flavor of the meme, clearly. And yeah, okay, don't think that I've ever BRPSed someone specifically to start a fight. It's more along the lines of "ARGH I HATE YOU BUT I DON'T WANT TO CLUTTER UP MY PERSONAL JOURNAL WITH THIS" and then post. Or rant over MSN and get egged on to post a cleaned-up version at BRPS.

So, okay, agree to disagree, possibly.

I don't think I've ever seen pattern blocks. Do they smell nice?

Thanks. And Bleach is great, although it was the first time I'd ever RPed Rukia so I may very well have sucked.

Yeah, it's cool. Don't worry about it. I'm not really mad at you for that, but you asked if I was ever uncomfortable during a scene, so...

Awww. Honestly, I can think of a few instances, not least being this one. I should always be told to stuff it.

Personally? I think a good solution to the rules problem would be to post one rule and one rule only: "DON'T BE A FUCKING MORON, YOU GREASY TURDS." and then link to BRPS (just the whole comm) with the hyperlink text as, "That basically means, don't do this shit.", and then ban anyone who and everyone who doesn't like it.

Huh. Interesting. I actually tend to have a really hard time connecting anonymous comments to possible names and faces, so I don't take them seriously even when they might have a point. And I'm both basically honest, at least about things I consider important, with a Me = The World complex and easily manipulated/swayed, so when my friends tell me they weren't there, of course I believe them. Because in my mind, my friends are the bestest and wonderfulest and don't lie. They might still do things that annoy me, but that doesn't stop them from being bestest and rightest.

Probably the best thing we can do in this situation. ^^; Sorry?

Depends. Do you like the smell of plastic?

Oh good. That's nice to know. The wank about the icons was slightly wtf-ish to me, mostly because I love the icons I have for all my char journals. Especially the Potterpuff ones. XD

*shrugs* Like I told Seb, I'd rather have stuff out in the open and discussed honestly and truthfully than behind my back and anon. If people are unhappy with me, I want them to talk to me about it so that we can settle it or so that I can find out what I'm doing wrong. Though, on that note? I was utterly terrified I'd come back to hundreds of hateful anon comments. Even had a nightmare about it while away. So really, I'm not that mature or brave. Just good at making myself do things I dislike/am scared of.

And hey, I think my reply is at least as tl:dr. So, thank you for having the courage to come forward, for staying logged-in during the meme, and for addressing everything politely in a non-hostile manner. Much appreciated, and I hope my response helped.

*Absolutely no interest in converting you to his religious views, and man, I'd hope you don't judge me by them since another of my chars is homophobic and bloodist (if that's the term for people that are all pureblood pride), another disdains all mortals and a third hates all non-mutants and I promise I don't share any of those views. XD

XD I like your icons too, honestly. So I don't really know what that was about.

Awww. *hugs* A nightmare? That's harsh. That's a good attitude, I think. And in the end, I think it's a lot more likely to actually accomplish things that just bitching and whining.

It did. Thank you for replying. ^^ I hope my comments weren't too harsh or nasty.

*Oh, yeah, I know how that goes. One of my characters is HUGELY sexist, so yeah, I totally understand that IC views =/= OOC views.

Yay! XD Iris told me that she's the one who anon posted something along the lines of 'Sorry? I really did try to find good ones' which is awesome because that made me crack up. And your 'crave until you fall' icon was brilliant. I loved that one.

Well, it's not like I was the only one to have a nightmare about it. XD *hugs back* It seems to work for me, most of the time.

And yay for getting things settled/solved at least a little. And no, yours were fine, though a little shocking in the sense that I hadn't realized you had any problems with me/my characters before you popped up on the meme but at least you were polite about it.

*Awesome. XD I think it would be impossible to have all my chars' prejudices at once.

XD That wasn't my icon. Sorry. But I hope the makers sees this and knows you think her work is brilliant.

Yeah, truthfully, I should have said something before the meme, but they seemed like such little things, you know? They irked me from time to time, but it wasn't like they were constantly gnawing at my soul ~~the way certain other things about the game were~~.

Anyway, I'm sorry. I didn't have working MSN because it conflicts with my computer and you're never on AIM, so IMing you was kind of impossible, but when we have personal LJs and e-mail, that's not an excuse.

So... yeah, please accept my humblest apologies for not telling you sooner and more privately, which is what I should have done. Posting to the meme even non-anon instead of going to you first was dumb and truthfully, really hypocritical of me.

I'm repeating myself now, but a thousand sorrys.

*Let's see. If I had all my characters' prejudices at once, I'd be mostly just be the world's biggest male chauvinist, but that alone is enough to make me shudder.

Ah, doubt it, but at least your taste is vindicated?

Well, at least it wasn't anything constant/major, I guess. @_@ And yeah, I don't use AIM except for personal emergencies because I have to get off my laptop and head to the computer labs for it -- it doesn't work on my laptop at all.

So. Apologies accepted, all of them. And er, in the unlikely event this ever happens again, at least you know what to avoid?

*Oooh. Sexism. Yeah, one of my chars is pretty misogynistic as well. I'd hate to have that.

My computer's the same with MSN, actually. I finally can use it now because I downloaded Trillian, but before that? I could not fucking get MSN to work. It kept telling me all kinds of shit, and eventually I just said, "Well, fuck this."

Actually, I am very confused. I seemed to have gathered that I should let people know when they're bothering me, but without spamming their journal, calling them bitches or wishing for their untimely death by flying elephant dung to their face. This is quite confusing for me, truthfully.

*I'm convinced Raphael should have his picture in the dictionary next to "misogynist", frankly.

Oh, really? Maybe I should add you on MSN then since I'm back at college now. XD Sorry about taking so long to reply to this, incidentally. I've been trying to get myself unpacked/sorted out and thus replying to comments in batches while lurking on MSN constantly.

Hm. Maybe you need a Nettiquette guide. Ms. Manners for the Modern IMer?

*I think the fact that I can describe most of my chars in one word is slightly worrying.

Don't worry about it. :P

I think I should just call people bitches and cunts via image macro. Because nobody can be offended by an image macro.

*More or less disturbing than liking to describe your characters by highlighting their flaws, calling them stupid and otherwise insulting them? That's usually my method. XD

All good now?

Yes. XD

Good ^_^

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Laying ghosts to rest/Damien post.

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This is Kira-mun.

Addendum.

Son of Addendum.

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Part One of the long reply of doom.

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Part Two of the long reply of doom.

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