The Revival of English in Europe!

[fickle]

"The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will
be the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was
the other possibility and the French were, quite naturally, ignored.

As part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that
English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5- year
phase-in plan that would become known as "Euro-English".

In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make
the sivil servants jump with joy. The hard "c" will be dropped in favour of
"k". This should klear up konfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter.


There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the
troublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words like
fotograf 20% shorter.

In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be
expekted to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are
possible.

Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always
ben a deterent to akurate speling.

Also, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is
disgrasful and it should go away.

By the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing
"th" with "z" and "w" with "v".

During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords
kontaining "ou" and after ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensibl
riten styl.

Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi
tu understand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.

Und efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be besikli speking German like zey vunted
in ze forst plas."

--Snagged from dot_bdsm_snark, which Fandom Wank linked me to.

As someone who grew up in Austria, that was just too funny to not pass on. XD

Comments

[xinda.livejournal.com]

LMFAO That's great. And, I'm slightly disturbed how easy that was to read.

But, that was great xDDD

[shinsengumi]

... ;; My poor English.

[(Anonymous)]

It's conventional to tell that joke with gradually increasing volume, until by the time ze drem finali kums tru you're doing a full-on Hitler impression.

Malcolm