I followed a_white_rain's link here, and I hope you don't mind it, but I have to say that I think you've given me some courage for a personal situation of mine.
I'm American, and white, and raised in a liberal household. But recently, a friend started to hit on me rather physically. He insisted he was just a touchy-feely sort of guy. But until I read your post, I hadn't realized that I've never told him a distinct "no." I've told him that I'm not a touchy person, and I've physically shown disinterest and discomfort, but somehow I hadn't realized I hadn't actually said no.
I'd really like to thank you for putting this in perspective for me. Because even where I'm from, it still sometimes feels like it's the woman's fault - like they've sent the guy the wrong signal, or like the guy will be upset if you tell him no, and more importantly, will be somehow justified in that feeling.
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I'm American, and white, and raised in a liberal household. But recently, a friend started to hit on me rather physically. He insisted he was just a touchy-feely sort of guy. But until I read your post, I hadn't realized that I've never told him a distinct "no." I've told him that I'm not a touchy person, and I've physically shown disinterest and discomfort, but somehow I hadn't realized I hadn't actually said no.
I'd really like to thank you for putting this in perspective for me. Because even where I'm from, it still sometimes feels like it's the woman's fault - like they've sent the guy the wrong signal, or like the guy will be upset if you tell him no, and more importantly, will be somehow justified in that feeling.