Actually, your response to the original post (http://wildcard.deadjournal.com/65621.html) at the time was:
*sneaks up*
LOL
*sniggers*
That was because I protested to Numa going 'LOL' at me over it, so I guess you were LOLing to be smart?
You didn't tell me what to do, but we didn't really address it or talk about it at the time. Numa commented first with her tough-chick "If it had been me, I would've done" and then teased me being being fondled by a little boy LOL, to paraphrase her loosely. So I protested that, but felt awkward doing so because it seemed like I was blowing it up to be more than it was or was making a scene when one wasn't necessary.
You commented after her, so I snarked at you and continued to try to act tough about it because again, didn't want to seem like I was hysterical or crying wolf.
It's kinda weird to look back on the people we were, huh?
If I wrote an entry now with the last line "I'm going to take a wash now, I feel all scratchy and itchy and dirty." after talking about having been molested and anyone replied with 'LOL' instead of sympathy, I'd be incredibly pissed off with them for making light of it.
At the same time, I don't think that you'd be the kind of person to do that now. I can't really believe that you did at the time either.
I think both of you didn't take it seriously because Lauri was younger than me by two years and I could've fought him physically. Except I didn't. So maybe your assumption was that if I really had been upset, I would've fought back instead of trying to duck away, so I couldn't have been that traumatized by it?
Those are just wild guesses because I can't look into your heads, obviously, but at the time, I took it as if you didn't think anything really bad had happened and I shouldn't act like it was a big deal. Or that I should've been tougher and prevented it so it was just a natural consequence. Whichever.
Thank you for your apology, though. It's ... weirdly reassuring to be told all these years afterwards that no, you do actually get that it was a horrible thing to go through and I wasn't overreacting the first time I wrote about it.
In this post, I actually had a paragraph about your reaction and Numa's and how I'd screened that post so only you and Numa could read it, and how that affected me talking about it afterwards, but I took that out because, well, I love you guys and talking smack about you in front of 375+ people really isn't my style.
I'm glad you're my friend. You might have let me down then but you've been there for me for so much else. ♥
no subject
*sneaks up*
LOL
*sniggers*
That was because I protested to Numa going 'LOL' at me over it, so I guess you were LOLing to be smart?
You didn't tell me what to do, but we didn't really address it or talk about it at the time. Numa commented first with her tough-chick "If it had been me, I would've done" and then teased me being being fondled by a little boy LOL, to paraphrase her loosely. So I protested that, but felt awkward doing so because it seemed like I was blowing it up to be more than it was or was making a scene when one wasn't necessary.
You commented after her, so I snarked at you and continued to try to act tough about it because again, didn't want to seem like I was hysterical or crying wolf.
It's kinda weird to look back on the people we were, huh?
If I wrote an entry now with the last line "I'm going to take a wash now, I feel all scratchy and itchy and dirty." after talking about having been molested and anyone replied with 'LOL' instead of sympathy, I'd be incredibly pissed off with them for making light of it.
At the same time, I don't think that you'd be the kind of person to do that now. I can't really believe that you did at the time either.
I think both of you didn't take it seriously because Lauri was younger than me by two years and I could've fought him physically. Except I didn't. So maybe your assumption was that if I really had been upset, I would've fought back instead of trying to duck away, so I couldn't have been that traumatized by it?
Those are just wild guesses because I can't look into your heads, obviously, but at the time, I took it as if you didn't think anything really bad had happened and I shouldn't act like it was a big deal. Or that I should've been tougher and prevented it so it was just a natural consequence. Whichever.
Thank you for your apology, though. It's ... weirdly reassuring to be told all these years afterwards that no, you do actually get that it was a horrible thing to go through and I wasn't overreacting the first time I wrote about it.
In this post, I actually had a paragraph about your reaction and Numa's and how I'd screened that post so only you and Numa could read it, and how that affected me talking about it afterwards, but I took that out because, well, I love you guys and talking smack about you in front of 375+ people really isn't my style.
I'm glad you're my friend. You might have let me down then but you've been there for me for so much else. ♥