It took me a bit to reply to this because I got overwhelmed with guilt. Which isn't surprising, considering who I am.
I swear, I in no way meant that comment to imply that you and Numa aren't infinitely precious to me or that I don't consider you real friends. You're the Eternal Three; we fit together. But in this instance, yeah, I think that WR was a better friend to me because her initial reaction to hearing about this was outrage and support instead of telling me what I should've done and being amused.
I guess that back then, I should've pushed more and made it clearer that I was upset that you guys weren't upset (I keep looking at my comment to Numa and wondering how much more serious it would've sounded if I'd taken out the ":P"), but I was scared to make it sound that serious. Even to you guys. Especially if there was a chance you'd still not take it seriously.
WR, her background and everything I know about her means that I knew that she'd take it seriously and be angry on my behalf. But I also know that's partly because who I am NOW is different to who I was then, and my livejournal is a lot more controlled than my deadjournal ever was. My deadjournal was immediate and emo and just for you guys; my livejournal has a lot of people reading it whose faces I have never seen and whom I only know as text names. So in a sense, my deadjournal is more raw, but it also does come off as more melodramatic because I was a lot more melodramatic back then, embarrassing as that might be to admit.
I am very sorry for hurting your feelings, Kathy. You and Numa's friendship means the world to me. Without having you guys as friends first, there's no way that I could've trusted anyone else enough to be friends with them.
(And yes, the fact that most of this comment deals with us as friends instead of actual sexual abuse is a reflection of my priorities. I'm over what happened with Lauri. It's nowhere near as important as the fact that I intend on having you guys be my friends for the rest of my life, come hell or high water or both at once.)
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I swear, I in no way meant that comment to imply that you and Numa aren't infinitely precious to me or that I don't consider you real friends. You're the Eternal Three; we fit together. But in this instance, yeah, I think that WR was a better friend to me because her initial reaction to hearing about this was outrage and support instead of telling me what I should've done and being amused.
I guess that back then, I should've pushed more and made it clearer that I was upset that you guys weren't upset (I keep looking at my comment to Numa and wondering how much more serious it would've sounded if I'd taken out the ":P"), but I was scared to make it sound that serious. Even to you guys. Especially if there was a chance you'd still not take it seriously.
WR, her background and everything I know about her means that I knew that she'd take it seriously and be angry on my behalf. But I also know that's partly because who I am NOW is different to who I was then, and my livejournal is a lot more controlled than my deadjournal ever was. My deadjournal was immediate and emo and just for you guys; my livejournal has a lot of people reading it whose faces I have never seen and whom I only know as text names. So in a sense, my deadjournal is more raw, but it also does come off as more melodramatic because I was a lot more melodramatic back then, embarrassing as that might be to admit.
I am very sorry for hurting your feelings, Kathy. You and Numa's friendship means the world to me. Without having you guys as friends first, there's no way that I could've trusted anyone else enough to be friends with them.
(And yes, the fact that most of this comment deals with us as friends instead of actual sexual abuse is a reflection of my priorities. I'm over what happened with Lauri. It's nowhere near as important as the fact that I intend on having you guys be my friends for the rest of my life, come hell or high water or both at once.)