fickle: (a pure square of cornflower blue)
Fickle ([personal profile] fickle) wrote2007-12-19 02:54 pm

Arrived.

Made it safely to Sri Lanka. Sent in job application for UN & Yuletide story.

Obviously, have Internet here but only on a really slow computer. No chance to hook up to wireless. Do have air conditioning, though.

Sri Lanka's airport has a BIG sign saying that possessing illegal drugs is punishable by a death sentence. I had to print out the certificate that my sister is going to be cremated.

I'm reciting this poem at her funeral. I still need to write her a letter to be burnt with her. I don't want to; it seems like such a final way of saying goodbye, but it was my idea to do it, just like I'm the one who insisted her ashes should be scattered in Sri Lanka because she needs sunshine, even though I don't believe that she has any awareness left at all to know where her ashes are.

Still, just in case I'm wrong (I don't care about my soul, but I won't have her suffer for my beliefs), would any of you be willing to light a candle or say a prayer during the time of her funeral? If you drop me your timezone, I'll even calculate when it'll be for your time instead of giving the time in Sri Lanka time.

Savior already agreed to. I really would appreciate you performing any sort of ritual that you believe in to let the dead rest peacefully/be reincarnated into a good life since by my beliefs, I am utterly helpless to affect her life at all because she's gone.

I don't think that people in Sri Lanka, or my family, really understand that me being an atheist means I'm hurting in a completely different way to them. I can't take any reassurance in thinking she's gone to a better place or is going to have a better life. All I know is that she's dead and she's gone and everytime I think about in those terms, I feel sick in the pit of my stomach.

That's probably why I'm trying not to think about it too much.

*hugs* Thank you to all of you who are offering me support/memories/condolences, though. I can't reply to things, I know, but I do appreciate the sentiment. A lot.

[identity profile] punk-rock-nerd.livejournal.com 2007-12-19 09:47 am (UTC)(link)
*hugs*

No platitudes or anything from me, D. Just my love and support.

I'm GMT +11 at the moment. I'll light a fire for her down here.

[identity profile] kaough-daimaoh.livejournal.com 2007-12-19 10:04 am (UTC)(link)
I'd be willing to, if you could let me know the time or something. You can email me, reply to this, anything at all.

[identity profile] ohsnikt.livejournal.com 2007-12-19 10:09 am (UTC)(link)
What time did you want for me?

[identity profile] xindanobodie.livejournal.com 2007-12-19 10:16 am (UTC)(link)
of course, you need not even ask. My time zone is the same as yours is in the states, so just drop me a line somewhere to let me know the time so that I can do my best to get it on that time.

I love you, miss you, and sending you my best <3

[identity profile] harmonybunny114.livejournal.com 2007-12-19 11:30 am (UTC)(link)
I'm GMT at the moment - I leave tomorrow (20th) for Vienna, so for most of the 20th I'll be GMT+1. When should I do it? If I happen to be on the bus at the time, I'll bring a candle and matches (and try not to get arrested and carted off to some odd European prison).

The poem sounds lovely. Remember not to say 'breathe' in between lines. All my love, darling, I can't wait to see you again.

[identity profile] sorshawolf.livejournal.com 2007-12-19 12:41 pm (UTC)(link)
You know I will, sweetie. I'm in EST.


*hugs*

[identity profile] a-white-rain.livejournal.com 2007-12-19 02:23 pm (UTC)(link)
I'm to sure what timezone I'm in. Basdfsdkljkd tell me what day it is and I'll think about her all day?

[identity profile] mirrored-echo.livejournal.com 2007-12-19 02:24 pm (UTC)(link)
::hugs:: Will do. Still in EST.

[identity profile] yukirien.livejournal.com 2007-12-19 03:09 pm (UTC)(link)
I'm flying home on Friday, so I'll be in a combination of EST and CST. If it's after Friday, I'll be in Central Time (US & Canada).

[identity profile] alexshido.livejournal.com 2007-12-19 05:19 pm (UTC)(link)
Me too. Florida, GMT-5...

[identity profile] ryuutchi.livejournal.com 2007-12-19 06:07 pm (UTC)(link)
Of course I'll light a candle for her. I'm in PST, which is GMT -8, I believe.

[identity profile] daemonsadvocate.livejournal.com 2007-12-19 07:01 pm (UTC)(link)
GMT+12, NZDT. I'll be sure to light a candle to keep her memory flickering. Ask someone you you trust to stand with you if you get shaky <3.

[identity profile] lunarwhirl.livejournal.com 2007-12-19 07:50 pm (UTC)(link)
What time is it? I can light incense for her, hopefully I'm not working. I live in California, and because I suck I don't know my time-zone. I think it's either Mountain or Pacific, I always get them confused.

[identity profile] nevita.livejournal.com 2007-12-19 09:59 pm (UTC)(link)
Beautiful poem.

Writing a letter doesn't have to be a final good-bye. You can write a series of letters. This is the one that goes with her first, yes, but it by no means has to be the last.

I'll be glad to light a candle if you tell me when. Same as Dani-me, I'm in your time zone in the states (Eastern Standard).

*hugs tightly*

[identity profile] bernie-laraemie.livejournal.com 2007-12-20 03:35 am (UTC)(link)
I have candles lit all the time, but I have a special one I can ligt at the time. I am in the EST.

*HUGGLES*
ext_57119: house unity (Default)

[identity profile] princessjessia.livejournal.com 2007-12-20 06:57 am (UTC)(link)
ARGH, I don't think I have any candles! I wish I had checked my f-list sooner. If I find one, I will definitely do so. *HUGS*

[identity profile] 9tails.livejournal.com 2007-12-22 04:58 am (UTC)(link)
[Please ignore my icon, I used the most tame one I could find - I'm just not the proud owner of appropriate icons, which is incredibly embarrassing right now.]

I’m so sorry I’m late about this. Even though I unfortunately think I might have missed the funeral, I lit a candle for a few hours last night. All the lights were off, and it was surprisingly calm and beautiful!

The poem is gorgeous. I hope everything went well, and my family sends you love and their respects. Lots of you to you, Ficky.

[identity profile] ego-chan.livejournal.com 2007-12-25 11:46 am (UTC)(link)
Since the Catholic religion is unintentionaly yet remarkably inclined towards the more lazy/sidtracked/not-in-touch-much worshipers of Teh Jesus, I bought a candle for your sister and said a nice prayer I made up for her (in all honesty, god forbid I ever need to memorise any of the prayers the church has set aside for these sorts of things).

...If that brightens your mood at all. Which I doubt it does because I'm not eloquent at all. But I'm very sorry. I really am. *hugs* And...well, just know I'm thinking of you and stuff.