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Arrived.
Made it safely to Sri Lanka. Sent in job application for UN & Yuletide story.
Obviously, have Internet here but only on a really slow computer. No chance to hook up to wireless. Do have air conditioning, though.
Sri Lanka's airport has a BIG sign saying that possessing illegal drugs is punishable by a death sentence. I had to print out the certificate that my sister is going to be cremated.
I'm reciting this poem at her funeral. I still need to write her a letter to be burnt with her. I don't want to; it seems like such a final way of saying goodbye, but it was my idea to do it, just like I'm the one who insisted her ashes should be scattered in Sri Lanka because she needs sunshine, even though I don't believe that she has any awareness left at all to know where her ashes are.
Still, just in case I'm wrong (I don't care about my soul, but I won't have her suffer for my beliefs), would any of you be willing to light a candle or say a prayer during the time of her funeral? If you drop me your timezone, I'll even calculate when it'll be for your time instead of giving the time in Sri Lanka time.
Savior already agreed to. I really would appreciate you performing any sort of ritual that you believe in to let the dead rest peacefully/be reincarnated into a good life since by my beliefs, I am utterly helpless to affect her life at all because she's gone.
I don't think that people in Sri Lanka, or my family, really understand that me being an atheist means I'm hurting in a completely different way to them. I can't take any reassurance in thinking she's gone to a better place or is going to have a better life. All I know is that she's dead and she's gone and everytime I think about in those terms, I feel sick in the pit of my stomach.
That's probably why I'm trying not to think about it too much.
*hugs* Thank you to all of you who are offering me support/memories/condolences, though. I can't reply to things, I know, but I do appreciate the sentiment. A lot.
Obviously, have Internet here but only on a really slow computer. No chance to hook up to wireless. Do have air conditioning, though.
Sri Lanka's airport has a BIG sign saying that possessing illegal drugs is punishable by a death sentence. I had to print out the certificate that my sister is going to be cremated.
I'm reciting this poem at her funeral. I still need to write her a letter to be burnt with her. I don't want to; it seems like such a final way of saying goodbye, but it was my idea to do it, just like I'm the one who insisted her ashes should be scattered in Sri Lanka because she needs sunshine, even though I don't believe that she has any awareness left at all to know where her ashes are.
Still, just in case I'm wrong (I don't care about my soul, but I won't have her suffer for my beliefs), would any of you be willing to light a candle or say a prayer during the time of her funeral? If you drop me your timezone, I'll even calculate when it'll be for your time instead of giving the time in Sri Lanka time.
Savior already agreed to. I really would appreciate you performing any sort of ritual that you believe in to let the dead rest peacefully/be reincarnated into a good life since by my beliefs, I am utterly helpless to affect her life at all because she's gone.
I don't think that people in Sri Lanka, or my family, really understand that me being an atheist means I'm hurting in a completely different way to them. I can't take any reassurance in thinking she's gone to a better place or is going to have a better life. All I know is that she's dead and she's gone and everytime I think about in those terms, I feel sick in the pit of my stomach.
That's probably why I'm trying not to think about it too much.
*hugs* Thank you to all of you who are offering me support/memories/condolences, though. I can't reply to things, I know, but I do appreciate the sentiment. A lot.
no subject
If you see this before you it's time, if there's anything else you want said or done or incorporated (being agnostic has its perks) don't hesitate. And I'm pretty sure there's enough candles to burn down the city in the basement somewhere, so if you've got a preference to colors/scents, I can try. I'll check back.