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Happy New Year, everyone.
Year divisions might be arbitrary but whatever, this is a fresh year. So far, I have:
So, here it is. My New Year's Resolution is that I will spoil Devi-Monkey absolutely rotten.
Devi-Monkey is also known as Devangi, my 7-year-old cousin. Her sister is 5 years old, called Sayuni and mentally disabled. She can't talk yet beyond a few words, needs someone to hold her hand when she's walking around, and tends to smash toys against the floor until they break instead of playing with them properly.
Devangi, on the other hand, is brilliant, loves reading, loves being tickled, and kind of makes me happy just to hold her and know she exists. But taking care of Sayuni exhausts Devi's parents, so Devi can do with some extra love from me, even though I live in a different country, on a different continent.
The parallels between myself and her, her sister and mine, only really became clear last year when I visited Sri Lanka and saw how badly off Sayuni really was and how Devi dealt with it by being the best sister she could.
I know it's dangerous to insist you'll give someone else all the advantages, all the love, you wanted and didn't have. I know that leads down the road of giving them what you want, not what they want.
But I live far away so how much damage can it do to love her extra-hard?
I'll send her postcards, envelopes with little gifts like stickers and skin tattoos and Polos because she loves those and I'm the one who hooked her on them when I was hooked on them. Books too, because she likes reading and I have a better selection here than she does in Sri Lanka. I'm fourteen years older than her, too old to be her sister but she will have someone who loves her to supplement her parents' love. And Devi-Monkey will be okay. My darling, adorable little cousin will be okay.
I couldn't do anything for my sister. I did what I could. I taped myself singing to her so that she'd have my voice to hear even when I was away. I drew her paintings, made her posters, everything to decorate her room so that it would be bright for her eyes. It wasn't enough.
Devi's different. Devi's like me. I couldn't save my sister. Maybe I can save Devi. I don't want Devi to be more like me than she is.
I want her to grow up feeling loved; I don't want her to feel like she takes second-place in the universe.
I will love her, and I will make sure she knows it. She will never have to question if I care for her.
- argued with my parents about whether dragging me to a dharna would be encroaching on my religious freedom. I won and therefore, they went with the maid and I have the house all to myself.
- been reminded that I have friends who love me and miss me.
- heard that New Zealand has beaches with black sand that I MUST visit
- been tempted to join that group of people who write fic for music videos. I kid you not, they're out there and they're prolific.
- found out I will need 3,315,000 NP in my bank account to get 1K of NP per day in interest.
- read Jason training Damian fic.
- listened to a song from Legally Blonde: The Musical on repeat.
- reaffirmed my commitment to living.
- made a New Year's Resolution.
So, here it is. My New Year's Resolution is that I will spoil Devi-Monkey absolutely rotten.
Devi-Monkey is also known as Devangi, my 7-year-old cousin. Her sister is 5 years old, called Sayuni and mentally disabled. She can't talk yet beyond a few words, needs someone to hold her hand when she's walking around, and tends to smash toys against the floor until they break instead of playing with them properly.
Devangi, on the other hand, is brilliant, loves reading, loves being tickled, and kind of makes me happy just to hold her and know she exists. But taking care of Sayuni exhausts Devi's parents, so Devi can do with some extra love from me, even though I live in a different country, on a different continent.
The parallels between myself and her, her sister and mine, only really became clear last year when I visited Sri Lanka and saw how badly off Sayuni really was and how Devi dealt with it by being the best sister she could.
I know it's dangerous to insist you'll give someone else all the advantages, all the love, you wanted and didn't have. I know that leads down the road of giving them what you want, not what they want.
But I live far away so how much damage can it do to love her extra-hard?
I'll send her postcards, envelopes with little gifts like stickers and skin tattoos and Polos because she loves those and I'm the one who hooked her on them when I was hooked on them. Books too, because she likes reading and I have a better selection here than she does in Sri Lanka. I'm fourteen years older than her, too old to be her sister but she will have someone who loves her to supplement her parents' love. And Devi-Monkey will be okay. My darling, adorable little cousin will be okay.
I couldn't do anything for my sister. I did what I could. I taped myself singing to her so that she'd have my voice to hear even when I was away. I drew her paintings, made her posters, everything to decorate her room so that it would be bright for her eyes. It wasn't enough.
Devi's different. Devi's like me. I couldn't save my sister. Maybe I can save Devi. I don't want Devi to be more like me than she is.
I want her to grow up feeling loved; I don't want her to feel like she takes second-place in the universe.
I will love her, and I will make sure she knows it. She will never have to question if I care for her.
- found out that
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ego_chan wrote a third chapter of her Terry/Ryuuji fic, read it and squealed. - discovered via ceresi that Pretty Woman Bird House EXCEEDED its goal for donations.
This year is off to an awesome start. ♥
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