I'm responding to the tag end of your first comment as well as this comment together since they're so similar. XD Anyway, here goes.
This (http://userpic.livejournal.com/64800112/1097047) is an icon that to my way of thinking is excellent at explaining away why people of color often worry about talking about race. It's not so much that we're worried about being called racist, though people do often try to get off the topic by going 'but what about reverse racism?!', but that other people will take it incredibly personally if you call them on making a racist comment.
So instead of listening to you explain how the comment was racist, or apologizing for it, they're going to start defending themselves and saying that they're not racist. Which is completely besides the point, and it only makes it harder to argue a question of racism because they're too busy going "BUT I'M NOT RACIST LA LA LA" to think about what the actual topic under discussion is.
There are tons (http://www.amptoons.com/blog/archives/2005/12/02/how-not-to-be-insane-when-accused-of-racism/) of excellent (http://community.livejournal.com/sex_and_race/296541.html) posts (http://brown-betty.livejournal.com/304316.html#cutid1) about why that happens and how to prevent it. It's not a case of taking sides. It's a case of knowing that the chances are that somebody who is white is going to get offended and not understand and be huffy about the fact that yes, they are privileged and you're not and demand to be called a good person for not being racist instead of letting you talk about the problem. A week ago, I would've said that nobody on my flist would have a problem hearing me talk about racism. Now, I'm not so sure, but I'm still leaving all my posts on racism and any -isms open because I'd rather know who I'm dealing with than assume that people are decent by default just because I haven't seen them behave badly.
Please don't think that this is like a war or anything. It's not about taking sides. It's about sometimes, just wanting to say something without having to give white people cookies for not being racist or having to explain for the thousandth time that no, yelling 'reverse racism' isn't actually a logical response to a discussion on racism.
People of color, as a term, sounds a little odd to me too because of the 'colored restrooms' crap but I'm thinking of it as a reclaimation thing like 'queer'. I know black people use it and don't get offended when white people use it, so it's not the n-word. Anyone can use it and I just need to adjust my sensibilities.
As for Asian anger, in Sri Lanka, girls get taught to not show it. Men can be angry and yell. Girls get told to modulate their voice but I also think that's a feminist issue, not just a race/culture one. If you're upset with someone, you still have to talk nicely and quietly and be polite. You don't get to yell, or raise your voice, or even sound harsh. I get told to make my tone more pleasant when I'm upset and want to just scream.
You know what I was thinking of when I typed that? An essay I did in high school about how in America, blacks got the right to vote fifty years before women did.
Except guess what that means? Black women couldn't vote, because see, they were women. It didn't matter that they were black; because they were women, they weren't covered under the Fifteenth Amendment.
You have no idea how stupid I thought that was when I read about it. You really don't. I don't even know how to express in words how ridiculous an idea that was to me, and still is.
no subject
This (http://userpic.livejournal.com/64800112/1097047) is an icon that to my way of thinking is excellent at explaining away why people of color often worry about talking about race. It's not so much that we're worried about being called racist, though people do often try to get off the topic by going 'but what about reverse racism?!', but that other people will take it incredibly personally if you call them on making a racist comment.
So instead of listening to you explain how the comment was racist, or apologizing for it, they're going to start defending themselves and saying that they're not racist. Which is completely besides the point, and it only makes it harder to argue a question of racism because they're too busy going "BUT I'M NOT RACIST LA LA LA" to think about what the actual topic under discussion is.
There are tons (http://www.amptoons.com/blog/archives/2005/12/02/how-not-to-be-insane-when-accused-of-racism/) of excellent (http://community.livejournal.com/sex_and_race/296541.html) posts (http://brown-betty.livejournal.com/304316.html#cutid1) about why that happens and how to prevent it. It's not a case of taking sides. It's a case of knowing that the chances are that somebody who is white is going to get offended and not understand and be huffy about the fact that yes, they are privileged and you're not and demand to be called a good person for not being racist instead of letting you talk about the problem. A week ago, I would've said that nobody on my flist would have a problem hearing me talk about racism. Now, I'm not so sure, but I'm still leaving all my posts on racism and any -isms open because I'd rather know who I'm dealing with than assume that people are decent by default just because I haven't seen them behave badly.
Please don't think that this is like a war or anything. It's not about taking sides. It's about sometimes, just wanting to say something without having to give white people cookies for not being racist or having to explain for the thousandth time that no, yelling 'reverse racism' isn't actually a logical response to a discussion on racism.
People of color, as a term, sounds a little odd to me too because of the 'colored restrooms' crap but I'm thinking of it as a reclaimation thing like 'queer'. I know black people use it and don't get offended when white people use it, so it's not the n-word. Anyone can use it and I just need to adjust my sensibilities.
As for Asian anger, in Sri Lanka, girls get taught to not show it. Men can be angry and yell. Girls get told to modulate their voice but I also think that's a feminist issue, not just a race/culture one. If you're upset with someone, you still have to talk nicely and quietly and be polite. You don't get to yell, or raise your voice, or even sound harsh. I get told to make my tone more pleasant when I'm upset and want to just scream.
You know what I was thinking of when I typed that? An essay I did in high school about how in America, blacks got the right to vote fifty years before women did.
Except guess what that means? Black women couldn't vote, because see, they were women. It didn't matter that they were black; because they were women, they weren't covered under the Fifteenth Amendment.
You have no idea how stupid I thought that was when I read about it. You really don't. I don't even know how to express in words how ridiculous an idea that was to me, and still is.
*hugs* Hope my comments were helpful!