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fear the angry asian girls
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If you don't know what any of those are, look them up. Credit for the above goes to the Wellesley Asian Alliance, which printed pink t-shirts with the text on the back.
I love it. I love it to pieces because it says so much about stereotypes of Asian women, stereotypes that -- surprise, surprise! -- the media perpetuates. That we self-perpetuate. It can be scary to have to talk in front of people. It can be terrifying to talk about racism or race, knowing that people are going to get defensive and insist they're not racist instead of listening to what you have to say. It makes sense to filter for other people of color if you want to just talk without having to fight. Having to fight can be tiring. Unfeminine. Culturally bad. Stereotype-shattering.
But this is one stereotype that I am heavily invested in shattering.
When was the last time you saw an image of an angry South Asian woman? I was looking for pictures for an RP I was in, and I couldn't find any.
Rai's last role in Provoked was about a woman that set her husband on fire for repeatedly raping/beating her, but she even did that with tears rolling down her cheeks. I have no idea why angry South Asian women are so threatening that they can't even be shown on screen but they do not get to be angry. They pout, they cry, they are dramatically beaten and angsty, but there's no anger. No rage. Even when they get revenge, they do it woefully.
It's okay for South Asian women to be victims, but not for them to stand up for themselves. I used to think it was a cultural problem, but I don't think it's just that. I've seen real women, real South Asian women, be passive-aggressive or just passive, but I've also seen them angry. But never in public. Never on TV. That would give them a bad reputation and it would go against the stereotype of Asian women being more docile than Western women.
After all, until relatively recently, people were still talking about widows throwing themselves onto their husbands' funeral pyres. Arranged marriages were common. Asian women didn't cheat on their husbands, right? They were happy to be housewives and treat their husbands with the proper level of respect.
That's why they're easy to fetishize. They're smaller, differently cultured and used to come from colonies. Asian women have exotic Karma Sutra-style ideas, but they also like to cook. Their culture is inferior to Western culture. They don't nag or push for marriage or make you buy them tampons. They will love you long time.
And right now, a lot of them probably think you're idiots for having bought into the media hype.
Asian women are women. Women are people. Asian women are people. And the stereotypes are going down.
The first one to die will be the idea that Asian women don't get angry, because we're here, we're angry, and we're not going to shut up.
no subject
This (http://userpic.livejournal.com/64800112/1097047) is an icon that to my way of thinking is excellent at explaining away why people of color often worry about talking about race. It's not so much that we're worried about being called racist, though people do often try to get off the topic by going 'but what about reverse racism?!', but that other people will take it incredibly personally if you call them on making a racist comment.
So instead of listening to you explain how the comment was racist, or apologizing for it, they're going to start defending themselves and saying that they're not racist. Which is completely besides the point, and it only makes it harder to argue a question of racism because they're too busy going "BUT I'M NOT RACIST LA LA LA" to think about what the actual topic under discussion is.
There are tons (http://www.amptoons.com/blog/archives/2005/12/02/how-not-to-be-insane-when-accused-of-racism/) of excellent (http://community.livejournal.com/sex_and_race/296541.html) posts (http://brown-betty.livejournal.com/304316.html#cutid1) about why that happens and how to prevent it. It's not a case of taking sides. It's a case of knowing that the chances are that somebody who is white is going to get offended and not understand and be huffy about the fact that yes, they are privileged and you're not and demand to be called a good person for not being racist instead of letting you talk about the problem. A week ago, I would've said that nobody on my flist would have a problem hearing me talk about racism. Now, I'm not so sure, but I'm still leaving all my posts on racism and any -isms open because I'd rather know who I'm dealing with than assume that people are decent by default just because I haven't seen them behave badly.
Please don't think that this is like a war or anything. It's not about taking sides. It's about sometimes, just wanting to say something without having to give white people cookies for not being racist or having to explain for the thousandth time that no, yelling 'reverse racism' isn't actually a logical response to a discussion on racism.
People of color, as a term, sounds a little odd to me too because of the 'colored restrooms' crap but I'm thinking of it as a reclaimation thing like 'queer'. I know black people use it and don't get offended when white people use it, so it's not the n-word. Anyone can use it and I just need to adjust my sensibilities.
As for Asian anger, in Sri Lanka, girls get taught to not show it. Men can be angry and yell. Girls get told to modulate their voice but I also think that's a feminist issue, not just a race/culture one. If you're upset with someone, you still have to talk nicely and quietly and be polite. You don't get to yell, or raise your voice, or even sound harsh. I get told to make my tone more pleasant when I'm upset and want to just scream.
You know what I was thinking of when I typed that? An essay I did in high school about how in America, blacks got the right to vote fifty years before women did.
Except guess what that means? Black women couldn't vote, because see, they were women. It didn't matter that they were black; because they were women, they weren't covered under the Fifteenth Amendment.
You have no idea how stupid I thought that was when I read about it. You really don't. I don't even know how to express in words how ridiculous an idea that was to me, and still is.
*hugs* Hope my comments were helpful!
no subject
The icon had me going all sparkly-eyed (mostly) on it. The "you're hurting me" is just ♥ People need to remember how HURTFUL it is, indeed. And also the "stop it". And, I don't think it ever killed anyone to apologize when they've done something hurtful - that should be tagged in, too. "An apology wouldn't hurt", but maybe that'd be pushing it?
For me, if I make a racist comment? I would like it to be pointed out so I can apologize big time and then clarify myself. To me, racism is racism - regardless of to whom.
"Too busy arguing" - I would think fixing the problem would be the best solution - by apologizing for it and explaining what was meant. Without ignoring what had been done and learn from it...
*reads links before going on* On the third point, "Don’t make it about you. " has me wonder. If someone accuses someone else of being racist - don't they want to know what was really meant? Or do most people only want an apology? And I don't mean a lengthy explanation - but just a simple, "I meant [insert explanation of whatever is normal for that person], I'm sorry I offended you." Or do they just want, "I'm sorry I offended you" and nothing else. Or is it okay to ask how it was racist - so long as it doesn't come off as - like you said "BUT I'M NOT RACIST LA LA LA". Which comes off as highly annoying, to me and yeah... o_O! Now the second link! xD Nice link. Now, final link. Interesting, I dare say.
"instead of letting you talk about the problem" I see that in a lot of things in and outside of racism. Though, most of the time I see it in a way to try to understand the other person - provided that it's an actual conversation and not one-sided -- UNLESS the person who brought it up wanted it to be simply their opinion/feelings/problem and not to have it... mmm... what's the word... countered with comparisons? Which is why I was reluctant to comment on my opinion on this - I didn't want you (or anyone) to take it in such a way - even if I am agreeing with a lot of what you say.
I'm glad you're keeping your posts and still making them. Touchy subject as it is. I do hope I didn't come across as one that didn't care to hear it, because that's not true and if it is, I sincerely apologize for that.
Please don't think that this is like a war or anything. Your thoughts on it? No! No no. Is it in other places I've seen? It comes off as such - with backup support for that a lot of the time, yes. Which, to me is sad - especially with your "It's not about taking sides", because I agree with that statement... Which is why I think some things should be handled as such. -shrugs- Racism is racism as far as I'm concerned.
Y'know, I THINK that's why - the 'colored restrooms' and such. I think that's why it sounds so ... odd. That could be it. Must be it.
Ahhh. I see. *nods* Thanks for that clear up (on th Asian Anger topic)
I remember learning that. I remember how I felt each time I learned of anything that I felt was "unfair" (such as what you stated) and seeing that even if that issue was "solved" (or being worked on) there was still... more. Still is.
Indeed, thank you *hugs*