Counting.

My sister's been dead a day.

A year.

A month.

The first two are mistakes. It's only been a month. But I didn't want to backspace 'day', so I started a new line for 'month'. And then it turned into 'year'.

This icon used to be black with a white dashed border. Then I made it into a pure square of cornflower blue as part of an injoke. I could have just uploaded this one in addition to the black one, but I wanted to replace the black one with this block of color instead. It's still an icon of sorrow and pain and grief and loss and the sort of empty blackness that seems so final.

But it's cornflower blue now.

My mourning for my sister is cornflower blue now.

I'd been thinking of doing some big memorial entry with photos of her and anecdotes, an explanation of how we found out she was disabled and what it felt like to watch her deteriorate during the last few years of her life. But I don't think I can. Not yet (but I will, because she needs to have been seen by more than just the people that visited our home and I need catharsis).

It's been a month.